There’s the nicotine, and then there’s our peace of mind

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When I was 13 years old, I went to Paris with my parents for the first time. I was fat, low in self-esteem, and melancholic.

The French girls I saw all had tall noses, beautiful blonde hair, red lips, and they all smoked. That was 18 years ago, so people were still smoking indoors, outdoors, everywhere.

I was mesmerised by the poise of one particular French pianist in the bar we visited. She was skinny and wore a grey, minimalist halter-neck dress. …

See the big picture, draw a rough timeline, then let everything falls into place

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I grew up with music scores as a trained classical musician.

As a pianist, my score is already a bit more complicated than others because with two hands, three pedals, and multiple keys, I can tap on at least 10 notes at once. But that’s nothing compared to a conductor music score, where all musical instruments happen in front of them at once.

Life is a bit like that, to do what we need to do at that moment is complicated enough, but when everything combines, it becomes overwhelming.

Unfortunately, no one teaches us to live life like a conductor…

Where can we find authentic places to share our vulnerable selves?

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I’m reading a novel called Big Summer by Jennifer Weiner. It is about a plus-size influencer, Daphne, and her classically skinny and blonde celebrity friend.

Daphne has learned the fine game of being a public figure: You show some vulnerability to connect with your audience and make them trust you, but you will never show your ugliest, true self. The balance is what makes a content creator popular.

Every platform on the internet is now being monetized. If you search “Medium Writing” on Youtube, it’s about how to make money there. …

Question on whether the spiritual journey is truly never-ending

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I went through a wildly dramatic level of spiritual awakening three years ago and my experience matches the so-called Kundalini Awakening. It felt like my life was falling apart, and when it was pieced back together, I felt like a renewed soul, just like what the Holy Bible says.

That should be it, right? I was healed, reconciled with people who had hurt me, meditated every day, etc. My path to enlightenment was done and I was pretty much a buddha now, right?

When I observe people, I see the wounds they can’t see within themselves. …

It’s not your fault and we can manage it now

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I was really bad at teamworking and it took me 20 years to understand why.

My mum is entitled and overbearing, so I only know how to get what I want by pestering others.

Does any of the following describe your circumstances?

  • You have overbearing parents
  • You are the only child or the youngest child
  • You are born relatively well-off
  • You mum and dad might be a little narcissistic
  • You are the clever one

We learn how to show care and love to others through our primary attachment (usually our parents). …

How it can get worse with the algorithms and how to substitute entertainment with “nothing”

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I was officially a couch potato during the lockdowns. Here are my records that I’m not proud of at all:

  • Bridgerton in one day (1 season)
  • The Good Place in one week (4 seasons)
  • How to Get Away with Murder in three Weeks (6 bloody seasons)

There were also Grey’s Anatomy, Killing Eve, etc...

During Valentine’s Day, I couldn’t wait to finish dinner and watch the latest episode of Umbrella Academy. This alarmed my boyfriend and he asked me, “are you able to do nothing?”

Nothing? What nothing. Let’s watch this hilarious Youtube video my friend just pinged me.


How my boyfriend and I never ever raised our voice for the entire year together

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As soon as my boyfriend and I met a year ago, Covid-19 came and we moved in together.

Without normal social life, I have been living with him and his family for most of the past year. I haven’t lived with anyone for 5 years and I haven’t lived with my family since I left Hong Kong 15 years ago.

It was such a weird feeling.

But I am grateful for having such great company during this difficult time. …

What to do when we hit a setback

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A relaxing read for your tea break to ground your overactive mind.

I hit a setback in my career and life. Suffocated, I was mean to people around me, so much, I put on my thick coat and my trainers and left my home.

I live by the beach in England, the wind is blowing hard today and the sky is grey. The clouds are so thick. I don’t know which bit of the sky is the sky, or there’s no sky at all, just the clouds.

My heart is heavy today and breathing is difficult. The coat might have…

Why making changes is always better than not making changes

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Someone I know broke up with her partner, and three days later, they got back together again, and the relationship has been better than ever.

When she consulted me on whether to break up or not, I strongly agreed that she should do it.

I have made a lot of changes in my life, and some have changed for the better and some haven’t. But I have never once regretted making these changes.

Why? Two reasons.

P.S. It’s always a good time to make changes because there’s never a good time to do it, so just do it.

The fear behind “grass is always greener”

That literally…

Midori by the Sea

Asian in Brighton, UK| Sex-positive| Intentional Living| Mental Wellness 📨

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